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Your website has 11 seconds to make an impression

Social ads and billboards—even fewer. 

Words matter. 

Don't trust a bot to repurpose thoughts already thunk and lines arleady lain. Work with a real writer who'll deliver more than you expect and exactly what you need.

(That was 11 seconds.)

Tell an irresistible brand story.

Whether you need to inform, persuade, or compel, your messaging needs to be dead on. Bland and forgettable won't push a boulder up a hill. 

My superpower is to simplify the complex so you can key in on critical concepts, develop magnetic messaging, and make your audience believe in ESP. Clever concepts and compelling copy rule the day in our attention economy. That's the currency I trade in every single day. I will craft and deliver communications your ideal audience can't resist.

My work

About Me

Contact

Three Ways to Bring Me Onto Your Team

Need a hand with a single project or someone to stand in indefinitely? Great! I'm ready to help.

Desperate for a communicator who'll seamlessly integrate into your workflow without a ton of hand-holding (Yes, we exist!)? With over 22 years of experience, I am agile, efficient, and boundlessly creative. I'm obsessed with getting to know the ins and outs of brands, teams, and missions—and I'm a pleasure to work with. Ask anyone.

Strategic Consulting

I'll review, analyze, and make implementable recommendations about your existing messaging so it fits with your brand persona, voice and tone, and sets you apart from the competition. 

Copywriting / Editing

I will write non-AI based, original copy against a creative brief to meet your project expectations. Each project will be preceded by an estimate approved by the client/key stakeholders.

Retainer based Contracts

Establish copywriting continuity by retaining me for a minimum of three months. Retainer agreement includes 20 hours of strategic and/or copywriting/editing time per month.

Don't Waste Another Day

Call or text me at  917-714-1369 to book a free 30 minute phone or Zoom discovery call. 

Secure a spot on my calendar and we'll get your marketing firing on all cylinders.

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What are the Chances? •

A Stoic’s Guide to Writing on Substack

I fell ass backwards into Stoicism in my 40s. Without realizing my “So what? Next!” attitude wasn’t uniquely my own, I came to find that Marcus Aurelius and Seneca were my home boys. Now, as a writer here, I find myself revisiting their no-nonsense wisdom every time a post flops, a subscriber ghosts me, or I see someone with 25,000 followers announce they “accidentally” penned a viral piece between spa treatments in Portugal.To soothe your spiraling brains, my writer friends, I present this Stoi...
What are the Chances? •

Handwritten Is Hardwired

I was sitting on a phone book at my great-grandmother’s kitchen table. She was addressing Christmas card envelopes. Her hand flowed across each one in swirls and loops.I worked beside her on my own pad—yellow paper with lines, on the top of which she had drawn cursive letters for me to practice. Again and again, I traced hers, hoping to establish some muscle memory. But my lines were wobbly and weak. My angles leaned inconsistently. The connections between my letters were awkward and tenuous. St...
What are the Chances? •

The Happiness Hangover

He came onto stage, bare-chested. Second-skin black leather pants. Red bandana tied around his long blonde hair.The frenzied energy rose up from floor to stage. The guitar riffed.A three-tiered venue of middle-aged, neon-clad people chanted along. I was one of them.I often complain write about not having a large collection of local friends, even after living in my town for nearly 20 years. Somehow, as an adult, it’s been difficult for me to forge deep, lasting friendships to rely on come hell or...
What are the Chances? •

When The Warm Sunshine is Your Mortal Enemy

Photo by artawkrn on UnsplashWelcome to the WATC world, where I write about the weird things that happen to me, but also about a bunch of other stuff… Essentially, I’m a piñata: you just never know what treats are about to fall out of me… I’m trying a different structure with my publication: A story, a stat, and a spark. That last section might vary depending on where my head’s at at the time of writing. Let me know if you like it. xoxoIf someone told you they were allergic to the sun, which rea...
What are the Chances? •

How Did You Become a Writer?

I get this question a lot. Less now. More when I was younger, when I was shy about calling myself a writer and scared of the, “Have you written any books I’d know?” question.The snarky girl who lives in my head always wanted to say, No, of course you wouldn’t know the stuff I’ve written.I barely know the stuff I’ve written because no matter how much I labor over it, once it’s written, it’s gone… off to find its own way in the world or die trying. I’m not even kidding. You can read back to me som...
What are the Chances? •

Your Body on Inflammation

Your wish is my command. I asked which topic you wanted to hear about next in an informational article, and inflammation won. So, inflammation it is!Be sure to vote on the next topic in the poll at the end.Inflammation gets a bum rap. I’m sure you’ve heard about it as a precursor to disease and other unpleasant afflictions, which we’ll get to in a minute. But, for the time being, I want to praise our bodies for this amazing response that keeps us alive.Inflammation identifies “invaders” in our b...
What are the Chances? •

My Summer as a Fly Girl and other Workplace Crimes

I wasn’t the best waitress.And it wasn’t my undiagnosed ADHD.Or my disinterest in the difference between Paglia e Fieno and Cacio e pepe.It was because I had barely ever been in a restaurant before working in one.My family didn’t eat out. Well, we did, but only after a graduation or a dance recital, and it was such a rare and remarkable experience that the order of operations really didn’t register with me.I was an early employee of Pasta Lovers, filling out an application the minute the Help Wa...
What are the Chances? •

Medical Billing is a Scam—And I Have the Receipts

Another Monday, another fight with an insurance company.I truly feel terrible for people with life-threatening illnesses who are bankrupted by the absolute grift that goes on with medical care in the United States.Let me be clear: I’m not celebrating single-payer systems either, as they’re rife with ridiculously long wait times and doctors who don’t earn what they’re worth. No system is perfect.But I’ve uncovered the most absolutely ridiculous practice—which is or at least should be totally ille...

RoboCopy isn't it

You're trying to save money and  have awesome copy. Not easy. 

Maybe you can't justify the investment in full-time professional writers... but that LLM robocopy is giving vanilla. 

Fear not! I'm here to save you from sounding indistinguishable from everyone else. 

I will train a custom GPT that's [almost] as good as me. It will understand what you need and pump it out for your entire team--or anyone you give access. 

We'll set it up once, then refresh it quarterly.  Contact me for pricing.

"No matter what you're selling, you're selling it to a thinking, feeling human being. Remember that."

Andrea Hoffmann